feelings on a friday

i do not know where i fit in al of these demographics/ cultural vibrations. i fit no means to an end. you know like, conspiricy theories. i just saw a girl who was kissing another guy wink at me from 60 yards away, now i know what to do. its almost a perfect cheese ball setting with this crazy porch light on and then here are these two young adult totally making total adult xxx but soft as fuck love in this light. and here i am chasing a black cat. this cat followed me down 3 blocks and then i picked her up and she hissed at me, but shes never done that before. i realized at that moment that i will probably not be this way for ever, like in this weird sort of "bear" state. but more like atlas. today i played drums like machine guns for some friends on their nintendo wii internet tv. and they said it was horrible and i realized that all of my life had just gone down the drain about thinking that this would change the world, and that i should not be afriad to express my feelings. that thought i realized after typing my last thought. this is all simple math and i always feel like i am talking as if i am being filmed// in this moment i am thinking of robin williams and the sex scene i whitnessed outside with the winking and how i related that to a movie.