i feel like i have really lost a good chunck of reality, i cant even really speak type i cant really do anything? i feel useless even trying to descirbe but here i am sitting and i feel compelled to trhis i have to no good reason i just have to. i am a human being struggling with society and here i said strict uptight and impaciently i feel like that was a quote. everything i feel and see feels as numbers i cant keep looking back and i feel like i am stuping over and i am short of mental breath its gasping one thing dor sure i need to stop smoking, just like aids wolf right? theyre a good band im not even a musician. i have a painting behind me and i realized i am a quitter, but it is not even my canvas it is my roomates and he painted over it, and i feel he is also a quitter but now in some way im feeling that i am accomplishing the verbage trying if thats real in the world i am living in right now at 3 37 morning. i have this feeling about all these eyes and all these thoughs kinda floating in the air, like that one part in star wars, the newer ones, but i think it was the first of the new ones, I, episode one. well yeah there, because i think i am in art school, its horrible, but totally over positive? but in a secluded way. its like pick pocketing,---think about it? right? i am having visions of all these lost souls so many in the club. this big play house and hopeless romantics with 13 things on their mind all ening in -ing. i know it bit of an old saying but why are we all here i should stop complaning i have nothing to complain about. but what the fuck is expressing then? is expressing your feelings only just complaining?